A man that is con one woman’s heart — and $300,000. Here is exactly how it just happened.

by Doug Shadel and David Dudley, AARP | Comments: 0

Picture by Gregg Segal

He was the response to her prayers. It, her savings were gone before she knew. Plus the man of her dreams? He might not really occur.

*Names are changed to protect identities

He was written by her first.

A message that is short on a Thursday night in very early December 2013, beneath the topic line: Match?

You had been listed being a 100% Match! I’m not certain just what a 100% match means First that is you be interested in me personally. Always check my profile.

Later, whenever she puzzled over their relationship, she’d remember this. She had contacted him, maybe not one other way around. That were a fateful move; it made every thing easier for him. But she don’t understand that yet.

A great deal for this ended up being brand new. Amy* had never ever done this online-dating thing. It absolutely was over couple of years because the loss of her husband of twenty years; four, since she had lost her mom. Two razor- razor- sharp blows which had kept her alone inside her 50s that are late.

The marriage was in fact troubled; he had been abusive. Their cancer tumors took him swiftly, before she had time for you to process the thing that was occurring. A grief counselor told her to make no sudden changes in her life for at least a year, and she followed that advice after the funeral. Now she had been all by by by herself in a home secluded by the end of a lengthy gravel driveway. During summer, as soon as the woods leafed away, you couldn’t also begin to see the road or perhaps the next-door neighbors.

Amy don’t feel separated. She’d grown up here, in a conservative pocket of virginia. Her brothers and their own families lived nearby. With regards to came to meeting people that are new nevertheless, her alternatives had been restricted. Friends urged her to try online dating sites. And, reluctantly, she did.

To start with, she just tiptoed round the numerous internet dating sites, window-shopping in this peculiar new market. The options had been overwhelming. It had beenn’t before the autumn that Amy ended up being prepared to plunge in. The holiday season were coming, and she don’t desire to face them alone.

She enrolled in a six-month subscription to Match.com, the greatest and another for the oldest dating services on line. She completed a questionnaire and carefully crafted her profile. It might have already been simple to burnish the facts, but she delivered herself actually, from her age (57) and hobbies (“dancing, stone gathering”) to her status that is financial sufficient”). The image — outdoor photo, big look — had been genuine, and present. And her pitch ended up being simple:

Shopping for a life partner … successful, spiritually minded, intelligent, common sense of humor, enjoys dancing and travelling. No games!

In those weeks that are first she exchanged communications and some phone phone calls with guys, and also met some for coffee or lunch. But absolutely nothing clicked — either these people weren’t her type or they certainly weren’t who they stated these people were. This appeared to be among the issues with online dating. She resolved become pickier, just men that are contacting had been closely matched — 90 percent or maybe more, as based on the algorithm pulling sapiosexual dating the strings behind her online search.

She did not actually know how it worked. Back college, she’d examined computer psychology and science, and she considered herself pretty tech-savvy. She had an internet site on her behalf company, had been on Twitter, carried a smartphone. But whom knew just how these online dating services worked?

Then she saw this person, the main one having a profile that is mysterious — darkandsugarclue. The picture showed a trim, silver-haired guy of 61 with a beard that is salt-and-pepper Wayfarer-style colors. He liked bluegrass music and lived one hour away. And another thing: he had been a “100% match.” Whoever he had been, the computer had determined he had been the main one.

Significantly more than a week passed with no answer. Then, this message showed up when she logged on to her account.

Just exactly How have you been doing today? Thank you a great deal for the e-mail and I also have always been actually sorry for the wait in response, I do not think about it here often, smiles . I enjoy your profile and i prefer the things I have gotten to learn in regards to you up to now. I would like to become familiar with you while you seem like a rather interesting individual plus you might be gorgeous. Let me know more about you. In reality it will be my pleasure at my email as I hardly come on here often if you wrote me.

He provided a Yahoo email and title, Duane. A number of the other males she’d came across on Match had additionally quickly offered individual e-mail details, so Amy did not sense any such thing uncommon whenever she published back to the Yahoo target from her very own account. Plus, when she went back again to glance at darkandsugarclue’s profile, it had disappeared.

Your profile isn’t any longer there — did it is pulled by you? When I have always been recalling the info you shared fascinated me personally. I wish to learn more in regards to you. Please e-mail me personally with information so I can get to know you better about yourself and pictures.

Duane penned straight back, an extended message that sketched a peripatetic life — he described himself as being a “computer systems analyst” from North Hollywood, California, whom spent my youth in Manchester, England, and had resided in Virginia just for five months. But a lot of the note contained flirty jokes (“If i really could be bottled i might be called ‘eau de enigma’ “) and a detailed imaginary description of the first conference:

It is 11 am whenever we get to the restaurant for brunch. The restaurant is just a white painted weatherboard, simple but well-kept, set regarding the edge of a pond, divided from this by the expansive deck, dotted ( maybe not packed) with tables and chairs… that is comfortable.

Amy was charmed — Duane had been nothing beats the local males she’d came across to date. “You definitely have great love of life and a means with words,” she reacted. And she had been full